
Chrysanthemums ready for il Giorno dei Morti
It’s nice to be back home in Switzerland, and I am so happy that the person for whom I wanted to recount these Swiss tales, is now reading this. Hello Mrs. B.! And thank you J. for your essential help in setting things up.
I returned from the States two weeks ago, arriving to an autumn season that is much sunnier and more stable in its weather patterns than this past summer. Sadly, I did miss the annual September Vendemmia, the gathering of the grapes; and I missed the usual bounty of fresh, plump green figs from our enormous tree which lies just in front of our little vineyard.
But I am back in time for the preparation for the Giorno dei Morti, day of the dead, which is November 2, just after All Saints Day on November 1. Something must ring in the conscience of every Ticinese to make sure that the gravestones of their loved ones are well decorated in time, for every florist shop in the area is now flooded with chrysanthemums, the flowering plant of choice for this occasion.
I went to the village just below mine, Caslano, to run some errands, and it turned out to be a morning where I felt so grounded and grateful for the connectedness of my small town life. At the newsstand, the last little shop before reaching the lake, where Mario the owner procures for me the London Sunday Times, he tells me that my friend Fabienne came by. Learning that I like the same dark chocolate covered cherries that she does, she has left a pack of them for me with a little note saying “un abbracio”, a hug. Just as I say, oh I have to call her as soon as I get home, Mario says, “she’s just arrived”, looking through the large glass window which fronts the newsstand. We all chat for a bit, she reports on the health of her elderly mother, I tell of my exhaustion of bringing home a new 10-week old puppy 10 days ago, and then I left to go up the narrow cobblestone street to the florist. As the photo shows, it was brimming with beautiful chrysanthemums. Moments later, Fabienne arrived there, too. Her husband, Jean, died nearly 4 years ago and she came to order the flowers for for his grave.
Standing in this little florist shop, with barely room to move among all the pots of chrysanthemums, she recounted, with an honesty and openness that was piercing, her continuing sorrow and sense of loss. She said she goes to his grave sometimes twice a day, she “just needs to talk to him”. If she doesn’t have time to stop, she salutes him with a “ciao” as she drives by. Everything is so close. The piazza with the church and cemetery beyond is just up and to the right from the little cobblestone street where we now stand. She says she thinks so often of what she could have done before…”why didn’t I take 20 minutes to sit by the lake and have a coffee with Jean?” They had owned the wonderful San Martino restaurant in Pura. Jean was French and they previously had lived in Geneva, owning a very successful restaurant there. As Fabienne’s mother got older and developed health issues, they moved to Ticino and opened up their amazing restaurant in my village. They spent nearly every moment together; Jean was the chef but Fabienne took care of everything else. He could be volatile in the kitchen; she calmed the waters. Everyone said that Jean made the best bouillabaisse, rivaling any of the top restaurants in Provence. For our annual Church fund-raiser in Pura, Jean spent hours in the kitchen turning out tin after tin of his famous lemon tart to donate to the sale.

Monsieur Jean Chanavat, in the kitchen preparing lemon tarts
Every significant meal in the life of my family was spent there, each child’s baptism and confirmation lunches, every visit from my father, our wedding anniversary dinners. One year my husband was sick and totally unable to go out. I called Jean and he cooked the most marvelous meal for me to pick up and take home. He exuded warmth – friends were greeted with arms spread out to embrace them tightly as each cheek was kissed. One time I took a good friend who had grown-up in Pura and was back visiting there for a coffee one morning. This friend had worked for a bank and had been responsible for a major financial mistake, whereupon he quite literally ran away to Mexico, eventually opening up some kind of meager refreshment shack on a stretch of a fishing beach. Such is village life, I think a lot of people knew about his story. Jean came to greet us and he shook my friend’s hand, saying, “Cher Colleague, How are you?” And Jean looked at my friend with nothing but gentle kindness and dignity, not a shred of sarcasm. “Cher Colleague”, I will remember that forever. What a man! Jean and Fabienne had a rich, full, busy life together, but what she stood there ruminating over were the moments they didn’t spend together. Quiet moments, just for the two of them. So she says she often stands by his grave and says sorry.